contentinators

Episode 6: Bad Content Rising

It had all come to him in a dream, which is clichéd, but that fact pushed him to try and execute the concept even more so: Doctor Deceptor was a great fan of clichés. This wasn’t his first evil scheme, and he doubted it would be his last, but deep down he had a feeling that this one stood a larger than usual chance of finally destroying those dreaded Contentinators®. The Doctor sat on the darkened roof of his evil headquarters and envisioned a world in a spiral of miserable advertising and clueless application; content marketing in disarray. Ah yes….that was a pleasant dream.

Doctor Deceptor was raised with the beliefs of a truly traditional Ad Man: his father, Mr. Deceptor, owned a newspaper factory downtown and viewed media as a singular enterprise, one that never would or never could be changed. But, of course, it did, and elder Deceptor could not adapt. His son, once the great hope of a future filled with bland confusing advertising, grew bitter right alongside him. He was turned down by all the best business and marketing colleges, and, eventually, was only offered a scholarship by Spam U.

School bored him; everything bored him, except content chaos. He started small: college flyers for concerts that he’d manipulate with inaccurate details, calling local radio stations with fake traffic reports, paying pilots to fly banners along beaches for events that didn’t exist. He wasn’t actually a doctor, but found if he called himself one often enough, people eventually started to do the same: it was an early view into personal viral social marketing.  A personal evil content marketing agency was slowly being born.

After failing to graduate, Deceptor was still somewhat hopeful for a world where he could excel and be paid for creating advertising that was intrusive and always untrue, so he applied to as many low-fi content marketing agencies as he could, but was turned down by them all. Even they told him he needed to funnel his odd creativity for the good of the consumer, to be that mystical link that brought together the hard working company and the people that needed hard work.

He quit his job search quickly and found something that suited him much better: professional villainy. He found minions, legions of them, on Internet forums and through direct mailers (those flyers he still very much appreciated, aesthetically), and began the work of making the world of content as confusing as possible, which is, after, his life’s work.

It was going fantastically: it turned out that the proliferation of social media just allowed more arenas for Deceptor Marketing to inject chaos and confusion. He and his minions thrived. Everything began to look bleak for the future of content marketing. The world of turmoil suited his being.

Then, one day, the Contentinators arrived.

Tonight, sitting on top of the roof of this new Deceptor Marketing HQ, after those very superheroes found and dismantled his Dockside hive, the thought of them made him shudder. Why were they so intent on clarity? Why did they feel the need to help their clients get a return on value, to create SEO capabilities that actually worked?

It started with that Captain of theirs….but they were all good. A well-oiled superhero content marketing creation machine. He had to admit.

Doctor Deceptor sighed, letting the night air settle in around him to cool his nerves a bit. In the alley, he could see the silhouettes of some of his minions walking around distractedly, without purpose. Captain Content had thwarted him at every turn, but, this time, would be different. The Contentinators had managed to get ahead of every devious plan he’d launched into the content of the social media world, but his new idea bypassed content and went straight to the physical source that 64% of adults used to get their information and content: their smart phones. If Doctor Deceptor could control the phones, he could control the discourse, and with that, the content.

Online creative content marketing may once again be doomed, just as his father’s newspaper plant had been.

He began cackling, and from the roof, in that moment of joy, he began throwing direct-mailers to the ground below, a confusing confetti. This time would be different! Content marketing agencies would be on the run! But then overhead, loud enough for the “Doctor” to hear, but quiet nonetheless, the distinctive sound of a fluttering cape zoomed by. He saw red and blue colors, backlit in a dark sky against a half-moon, passing over Deceptor Marketing without even pausing.

Could he know the plan already? Were his personal search engines that optimized? There was only one way for Doctor Deceptor to find out, and he was looking forward to it.

Episode 5: A Content, Content?

“Would you like another drink, Mr. Content?”

“That’s Captain Content. And yes, that would be great, thanks.”

“Was it a margarita?”

This would make his third appletini, actually, all of which were served by the same beachside waitress, and so, Captain Content could only think to himself: attention to detail and understanding your customer’s concerns are key factors in the foundation of a good content marketing agency. He breathed in deeply and then exhaled. The Caribbean bay before him stretched out in crystalline perfection; the warm salt-air brushed the fine teeth of the many tall palm trees, and they emitted a soothing rustle. It was indeed some form of paradise.

Just relax, Content. This is a vacation, after all.

“Sure,” he said with a grin, “a margarita sounds fantastic. No salt though.”

“Great. I’ll bring that right out Dr. Content,” and she wandered back to the bar.

Captain Content sighed. Vacations didn’t come easy to him. He was a man that worked, and worked, and worked….a superhero for masses delivering fresh media and destroying bogus spam. And being a superhero never felt like a job to him; it was a calling, one that he didn’t like to leave. But the gang, his Contentinators®, felt he needed some time off. They’d pulled so many all-nighters lately, building up SEO, deleting spam at every corner, throwing Deceptor henchman out windows; it had begun to wear him a bit thin. That spandex was only so good an armor.

So, he took a few days and flew to a small exotic island to soak in some rays and kick back a few drinks. And that’s exactly what he was trying to do. As Engage had asked him to do, he’d shut off all his devices. The Contentinators promised to hold down the fort at the best content marketing agency on the planet, and he knew they could and would.

“Here you go, Doctor Contract.”

The waitress, Brittany (he’d taken the time to learn her name, vacation or not; there was no reason to stop collecting data) handed a margarita down to him. The rim was covered in salt.

“Thanks,” Captain Content said simply. This is a vacation.

She wandered off again, and he put on some Contentinators branded sunglasses. His luggage was red and blue, as was his towel, his wallet, his toothbrush, his car, his vacuum and microwave, the cover of his passport, a laptop he’d brought to the beach (Engage wouldn’t be happy with this move), and any and every shirt, socks, shoes, and pants he owned when he wasn’t decked out in spandex. Branding, Captain Content knew well, was critical, and needed to be done in a consistent manner to be effective. He always aimed to be effective.

As he took a sip of his margarita, lounging out on this long gold beach with a rumble of soft shore break in front of him, he started to doze off. Maybe being off the superhero clock wasn’t so bad after all. But, before he could quite drift off into a dreamy world of zero spam and interface that was only creative, he heard his red Contentinators phone ding.

“I know I turned that thing off,” he said aloud, to no one. The words appeared in a thought bubble above his head, as they always seemed to.

Concerned, he shuffled through his backpack and gazed at the screen of the phone. It was blank. Odd.

He placed the phone back in his bag and reclined once again.

Ding. Bing. Boing.

The sounds came from not his phone, but all around him, up and down the Caribbean beach. Captain Content sat back up and watched as tourists shuffled through their own bags with puzzled looks on their faces.

Then, as if it rolling in with a fast moving thunderstorm, every phone on the beach began ringing in unison. A sickening mix of pop songs and random jingles consumed the sand: it was mobile spam barrage. Everyone was trying to turn their phones off, but the spam texts and mobile advertisements just kept pouring in. Captain Content watched as one man dunked his phone directly in his drink.

Does a content marketing agency ever really take a vacation? Not the best. And not the Contentinators. 68% of American adults have smartphones, which is up 35% from just four years ago. It creates a tremendous marketing opportunity, but also, as Captain Content was seeing before him, a chance for dastardly marketing approaches.

Someone was taking over the world’s cell phones.

His blue cape was back on before he even got to the dunes. Past them, near the beachside bar, he saw Brittany staring wide-eyed at her phone.

“How far is the nearest airport?,” he asked.

“I’m not sure. Everyone’s phone has been taken over by something. It’s all turned to spam. I can’t look anything up.”

It was time to get back to the business of being a superhero; his life was a vacation.

“Then I’ll have to just fly myself. Farewell Brittany.”

And right there, he put an arm in the air and took off from the sand, leaving slacked jaws on the Caribbean island below. Captain Content flew back home: it was time to save the day again.

Deceptor Marketing, The Interview.

Hello, fans of spandex and Appletinis. Or is it just me who realizes how awesome these things are? Either way, I’m sure we can agree on one thing: you need a content marketing agency caring enough to shield you from agencies that want to deceive you into using terrible content strategies. I recently interrupted a recording from our foes at Deceptor Marketing and thought the best way to teach you about their trickery was to show you what it looks like. Listen and learn: this is how you DON’T do social media. Ever.

Dr.Deceptor: We can’t have The Contentinators® ruining Deceptor Marketing with their good advice. We’ll lose all of our clients if they learn that we’re the reason their businesses are failing. The camera’s rolling, SocioSiren, so you have to make our future clients believe everything you say. What’s the worst advice for social media you can think of?

SocioSiren: Engage, in her own interview, claims that you should avoid spam at all costs. I say that’s nonsense. If you already have an audience that is interested in what you have to say, then tell them! Show them your day, your cat, how much you need your morning coffee, and brag about your business. Your social media platform is your own personal canvas. Let your charms shine.

DD: That’s excellent, believable logic. Why wouldn’t your audience want to know all the small details of your life?

SS: It’s the little things that count. A lot of them.

DD: On that note, how do you repel—I mean, how do you attract that devoted following?

SS: Oh, Doctor. I know what you meant. Why would we ever want to repel an audience? To attract the largest, most devoted following you can have, you have to fake it ‘til you make it. If you want to be popular, you have to pretend you have a crazed posse hanging off you at every second. Your audience doesn’t have to be real right away. Buy your followers. If you’re cheap, then make a lot of fake accounts to follow your page. If people see that you’re popular, they’ll want to be part of the cool club and check you out.

DD: Speaking of cool, there’s something all the suave kids on social media are using these days to gain that dedicated following: hashtags. Do you have any advice?

SS: Of course! Hashtags are a vital part of your social media marketing. You have to hashtag everything to extend your reach. It’s common sense: if you’re only using one or two, then you’re not reaching as many people as you would if you’re using, say, twelve. Or, if you’re an overachiever, then you can use thirty. Your audience will understand that you’re trying to reach other like-minded people. And if they don’t like it? They can keep scrolling.

DD: That’s what scroll buttons are made for. If only more people could learn of them--and by more people, I mean the suspicious spandex-clad man standing outside of our window. I can’t read lips, but I think he’s saying, “I’ll get you for this.” It’s tiem for us to run before this guy breaks in and throws us out. I wish we could have had a longer interview, but this should be enough to make everyone believe that Deceptor Marketing is an honest content marketing agency dedicated to delivering the best advice possible.

At that moment, the window breaks and the video ends. Captain Content shakes his head and clenches his fists. He refuses to tolerate Deceptor Marketing’s blatant lies.

Captain Content: There you have it, straight out of Dr. Deceptor’s mouth. Their goal is to take your business and make it less engaging than drying paint. Instead, call The Continentinators® at 866-471-4748, and we will help you build a content marketing strategy that works. Our team is dedicated to making sure you’re speaking to a real audience that is interested in what you have to say.

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Episode 4: Dockside Drama & Analytics

They each had a pair of night vision goggles designed by the finest optometrists in the Swiss alps, and with these, our heroes, The Contentinators®, surveyed the layout before them, as if it were illuminated by many suns. Like any good content marketing agency (and they considered themselves the best for a reason), they came prepared with many tools for any job.

The docks were milling about with activity, but none of it was targeted and directed particularly well: telltale signs of poor organization they’d seen before out of Deceptor Marketing. Sleuth had already pockmarked the perimeter of the of the dockside lair with bugs; no one had noticed.

“What are they saying?” Captain Content whispered. He motioned at two Deceptor henchmen wandering around near the edge of the water, across the small lake from which The Contentinators had positioned themselves (visibility, or lack thereof, always being a prime asset).

“Hold on, let me focus my acoustics,” Sleuth mumbled.

“Is that paper they’re throwing in the lake?” Engage said. “We don’t even own any, do we?”

A light crackle came from Sleuth’s portable speakers, then clearing up, they could hear the bugs pick up the voices of the two henchmen:

Henchman #1: “Boss says to always saturate the market with mailers. Even for fish.”

Henchman #2: “Fish are like people, boss says. They respond to clutter.”

Henchman #1: “Yeah, cluttered fish tanks are the best. Throw more mailers in the lake.”

Henchman #2: “We’re almost out.”

Henchman #1: “Good. Boss says it doesn’t matter what quality your content is, just that you produce a ton of it.“

Captain Content smashed the plastic speakers with a swift elbow; he’d heard enough of this nonsense. Poor content marketing advice made his brain swell and his mighty heart ache. He shifted his focus through the windows of the main warehouse along the dock; it was brightly lit but seemed to contain nothing of interest: Deceptor HQ, no doubt.

“Do we have a visual on The Curator yet?” he asked.

“Right there,” Sleuth synced the focus of all three of The Contentinators goggles to a spot through a large bay window near the end of the warehouse. And just as Doctor Deceptor had said on the phone, he was indeed tied up and being slowly lowered into a vat of spam mail. Pure madness.

“Let’s take action,” Engage said.

Wordlessly, all three of the heroes made their way to the front door of the warehouse. Captain Content dove in and swam across the lake: the quickest way to any one point was a straight line; simple focus was his key. Sleuth had created a winged contraption and flew, much like an osprey, calmly across the lake. Engage simply walked around the edge of the docks: none of the henchmen dared question her.

When they arrived at the door, they nodded, then kicked it in as a team.

Inside the warehouse, the scene became instantly more chaotic and uncoordinated at the sight of our heroes: more like wandering love bugs than synchronized honeybees.

Henchman wiggled out of tiny windows and hid behind stacks of mail-order brochures that didn’t even have the proper postage.

The Curator grinned at the sight of his friends: “Was wondering when you’d be here. Didn’t want you guys to miss the party.” He then ripped through the poorly made twine they seemed to have him tied up with ease, and started firing off emails on his phone packed like Peruvian limes with analytics. Of course, he had been playing possum: Deceptor Marketing didn’t have the power to hold The Curator.

And reunited, The Contentinators become a finely-tuned content marketing agency immediately. Throwing high-quality blogs at henchman, instantly spreading the word on social media of Deceptor’s location, and, yeah, maybe some kicking and punching, too.

Then, standing from high atop a stack of PC monitors from the mid-90s, Doctor Deceptor appeared, shroud in blue, his cape aflutter.

 

“There’s always more, Contentinators,” he shrieked. “Poorly written and slowly delivered content will spread through this city like a plague. I’ll define marketing.”


With that, he leapt from those dusty monitors, and crashed through a window, escaping into the night sky. The henchman had cleared out, and our heroes had won the battle, but not yet the war. A sliver of the distant gossamer rising sun cut into the warehouse, and another day on the frontlines of SEO optimization bloomed.

Episode 3: Deceptor Strikes Back

The rain came through in torrents and a dark-colored fog obscured every building in the usually buzzing downtown. It was past midnight, although time was of no particular issue to the most premiere of all content marketing agencies, and the home of our heroes, The Contentinators®. But this night, they were worried. Something was off, something amiss in the musty orange lights of the city below.

“He should have checked in by now,” Captain Content muttered quietly, to no one in particular. Engage was sitting with her six cell phones all in arms-reach, laptop in front of her, scanning social media feeds for any clues. Sleuth hadn’t spoken for hours but was busy researching newly-posted pieces of content for hidden messages.

The Curator had left the night before, with Mr. Patches’ poking out of his custom made riding satchel, on a mission to find information, and he hadn’t returned since. No calls, no tweets, no updates, no posts, no voicemails, no e-mails. His digital trace had vanished.

So, they were worried.

“He should have checked in.“

Engage’s fourth cell phone rang (tone: Velvet Revolver’s Superhuman), cutting Captain Content’s anxious musing short. A call at this hour was no surprise, a good content marketing agency makes itself available at all hours, but they held their breath as she answered, hoping for some word.

“The Contentinators,” she answered firmly and clearly; her outreach impeccable in any medium. 80% of Internet users own a smartphone. She listened for a moment, her eyes betraying nothing, then she set the phone down and put it on speaker.

“The Contentinators, in our grip at last,” the voice yelled, followed by a wild cackle. Sleuth typed as he listened. “We’ve captured your comrade, the Curator; he fell into a bit of a trap. Information overload, it seems. Devious, indeed, I must say, even by Deceptor Marketing standards. We will release him, but only if you supply us with online content capable of eliciting a response rate higher than we’ve been able to reach. The Curator would tell us nothing of your methods.”

“Of course, he wouldn’t,” Captain Content gritted through his teeth. “Our content is exclusive.”

“Exclusive or not, Captain Content, you have six hours, or we’ll lower the Curator to his doom in a vat of our acidic mail-order advertisements.”  

The laughter coming through the speaker rose, and the line went dead. Captain Content slammed his fist into a desk. The audacity, the outright cruelty, of these Deceptor Marketing monsters. If only they could focus their power of deception for good…..

He regrouped: “Hear anything in the voice, Engage?”

“He’s safe, for now,” she said calmly, “but I sense anxiety. The Curator is tough to hold for long.”

“Sleuth? Pick up any background information.”

“Water lapping against softwood, maybe 18-yards from the location of the cell call. Sounded like pressure treated cedar to me. And I heard the distant call of a Pandion haliaetus below flight-level.”

“An osprey?"

“Correct.”

They all looked up and made eye contact at once: this content marketing agency works on a creative wavelength they can all ride together.

“The docks!” The Contentinators said in one voice.


They rushed downstairs to the ContentinatorWing, chrome plated, and fit with jet engines of pure above-military grade. Interstellar capabilities were added as an extreme luxury. 

“Do you know how we can afford these toys?” Captain Content grinned as he got into the cockpit. They all knew the answer but he said it aloud anyway: “Content marketing produces triple as many leads as traditional outbound marketing.”

“And costs 62% less to create,” Engage added, with a smirk.

“Let’s go get our hero back,” The Captain said. He fired up the engine and blasted into the night, cutting through the rain and smog like a tightly sharpened jigsaw blade, the Contentinators at their individual stations. The destination was obvious, and the minions of Deceptor Marketing were the target soon to be precisely engaged.

Next Month, our heroes return! Episode 4: Content Showdown, Dockside

Sitting Down with Captain Content: Doing Creative Content Research with Sleuth.

Sitting Down with Captain Content is, as some of you might know, one of my favorite sections where I get the chance to interview whoever I want. For this occasion in particular (and since Lady Gaga told me she was busy preparing her not-surprising outfit for the Met Gala 2016--judge for yourself), I decided to interview my dearest friend Sleuth. I have been working with him in our superhero content marketing agency since the very beginning when I didn’t have the honor of wearing a cape and when the online world had several less catastrophes. But we owe it to Sleuth: he has shown me and the rest of our league of superheroes the importance of content research and its role for our clients’ success.

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Today, I get to ask Sleuth about all of the details, tactics, and tricks of his role, and how he helps clients find the right content for their audience and keep it share-worthy. Well, I must admit, I’m also very intrigued to know what makes his job so sexy and appealing to Engage (Damn it! I need to know that for sure). Anyway, let’s get started!

- Captain Content (CC): Good to see you, Sleuth. Welcome to Sitting Down with Captain Content! Ok, so let’s see if we can all get this question clarified… I’ve been asked this question millions of times: where do you guys get the inspiration to know what to write about in order to get your reader's attention?

- Sleuth (S): Pleasure to be here, Captain! Well, it definitely is a great question, and it’s pretty much the key to content marketing success. The answer is three words: creative content research. By doing this research, I’m able to give answers to our focus question: what are our competitors writing about, and what type of content is getting shared the most?

- CC: That’s it, three words? Really? Wow. Okay, and tell us, why should marketers care or invest their time doing this research instead of just writing about whatever they think is cool?

-S: Well, in this research phase, we are going to discover some main facts that will lead us to  wise content creation. Content research will give you the opportunity to deconstruct other content and learn from it, to see what your competitors are doing and talking about, and to better educate yourself to get the data that is out there, and then you can improve it or enhance it with your own insights and knowledge.

-CC: That actually makes sense and sounds pretty interesting. Now that we know all the benefits of doing research, let’s get our hands dirty and drill down to what this process consists of.

-S: Let’s do it! The first thing we are going to need to know is our target demographic. We need to know aspects of our audience’s life like: location, interests, language, sex, and age. Also, we need to come up with a list of websites that we want the client to get visibility in. In addition, it will be crucial to have a list of topics that we can talk about without being strict about our client’s products or services and really focus on what their audience loves and is showing an interest for.

-CC: Nice, but I guess this would be the initial warm up before you start doing your content research. Am I right?

-S: 100% right. With this information in mind, we’ll need to continue to look for the answer to the question I mentioned above: what is our audience sharing, and what is our competitors talking about? Here is where I like to get very rigorous and methodic and try to collect as many insights as I can based on my observations. Every time I find a piece of content that grabs my attention, I ask myself the following questions: Why is it interesting to me? Why would I read it? I take notes about the title and the formula used for the headline, the internal links, and the number of links pointing out of this blog, as well as the number of shares. I look for ways to repurpose the content and nurture it with more useful information.

 

-CC: I see, paying attention to what others are doing and what’s working for them is definitely a great way of kicking off your research. How do you get to know what your audience shares, though? Do you stalk us on a daily basis or what?

-S: [Laughs] By any means Captain! Even though it might sound scary, it’s as easy as paying attention to the social media profiles. Pretty sure Engage knows what I’m talking about.  Spending some time reviewing your social media followers’ profiles pays off. It gives you some main pieces to your puzzle in terms of getting to know their interest better. And this is something you can easily do in social media networks like Twitter where most profiles are public.

-CC: Cool! Well, I can imagine Google Analytics must be among one of your main tools to get to know the interest and behavior of your core audience.

-S: Most definitely! I actually have a list of apps that I like to use when finding remarkable pieces of content. Open Site Explorer, for instance, is a great tool to find out the piece of content for a particular domain that attracted most of the links from other websites. Some of my other faves are Social Crawlytics and Shared Count; these help me identify the content that got shared the most. While those are free tools, on the paid side, you can also find Buzzsumo and Ahrefs Content Explorer. Both very useful tools to find the most shared content around a certain keyword.

-CC: Now, once you have all this good data, how do you come up with some real insights for your content creation?

-S: Ultimately, the purpose is to have those sites, that we mentioned at the beginning, covering one of our pieces. So, by looking at the type of content that they are covering and what is getting traction, we’ll be able to identify some patterns. What I always tell our clients is that they need to make their topic focus broader than just their main products or services if they want to get some coverage. Also, the story needs to be compelling and told in a unique way, otherwise you’ll be just regurgitating what others are doing. And that’s not cool!

Great insights, Sleuth. Man, I didn’t know you did all that for us and our clients! Go and treat yourself to a nice Appletini, you deserve it!

Before you go, I would like to add my two cents here, and share with our audience what works for me in terms of content inspiration. When Engage is not around, I check her secret Pinterest account. She doesn’t know, but by looking at her boards, I always know what to get her for the special occasions. I really couldn’t read her face, though, when I got her the Guide to Make Your Booty Pop, but it’s all good. I mean, she pinned it!  Another one that I LOVE is Quora! Oh man, I can’t tell you enough about this one. Quora is the place where people feel free to ask any questions. LITERALLY. The other day, I saw this thread: “I’m 17 years old and I’m making $150,000 a year, where can I invest my money so that I can retire by the age of 35? Listen kid, first of all, if you are making that amount at your age, you should be smart enough to know what to do with that money! Second of all, call the Kardashians and ask them what they do with it. Wrong target demographic here, sorry! Oh well, you get my point, right? By looking at people's concerns and questions, you can get some ideas of what to write about, as long as that is related with your industry. Quora gives writers a real opportunity to give your audience answer to their questions.

Thanks for reading and holding on for my stupidity until the end. Your time and patience is much appreciated! I hope to see you soon in my next Sitting Down with Captain Content episode. If you missed the previous one click here, and if you can’t wait until the next one, just stay tuned. And sign up on Quora, (that will keep you busy and entertained. Guaranteed!) If you want to start getting some traction for your content call our content marketing agency, Sleuth and his team of investigators will be glad to that for you!

Epic Content Battles: Episode 2: The Contentinators® Save the Day

The Contentinators®, protectors of content marketing everywhere, approached the gloomy façade of the downtrodden John Doe Corporation and immediately did not like what they saw. An unlit sign, piles of garbage partially blocking the entranceway, an outward bound Internet cable flailing unconnected in the wind. Terrible things. 

“If this is what the physical public face of the company is, imagine the online presence,” Sleuth said. He seemed to shudder at the thought. 

“I just hope we’re not too late,” The Curator said. 

“There’s always hope when the job is in the hands of a good content marketing agency,” Engage muttered. 

They kicked open the door to find an office filled with stacks of random papers, a single fan spinning with one blade, and a television beaming only white noise. Every computer screen had an eerily silent image of a skull and crossbones. The place looked deserted. 

But from behind one of the giant irrelevant towers of printer paper came a cough. The Contentinators® rushed over and uncovered a lone man wearing a sideways tie, his glasses askew, and a cup of coffee cold as a Wyoming winter still gripped in his hand. He looked stunned, as if he’d been programmed incorrectly, and upon seeing our heroes, he instinctively shot a hand out with a business card in it. Everything on it was misspelled, and the print so faded that it was difficult to read anyway. 

“Deceptor Marketing said we didn’t need a blog. That online engagement is overrated. They said a monthly paper newsletter was fine, and stamps are cheaper than people think,” this man mumbled, unprovoked. 

The Curator bit his fist, suppressing a scream.

“69% of marketers are looking to increase their blogging presence this year,” Sleuth said, calmly. “And 45% say it’s their most important content-related strategy. Care to know why?”

The lone surviving employee of John Doe Co. nodded simply. 

“Because it is!” The Curator yelled, his nerves frayed at the sight of this business disaster before him. Engage put a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“We can fix this, though,” she said. “It’s not too late.” 
    
“Let’s get to work.”

And so The Contentinators sprang into action. Social networks were set up for all platforms, content uploaded, and SEO optimization pushed to its limits. Blog posts for John Doe Corporation began to spread happily throughout the Internet, flocks of metrics and analytics began to suddenly meet stated goals. E-mails and phone calls flooded in as the night wore on, orders and questions connecting to those online pieces of outreach. As the sun rose on the next day, employees slowly began wandering back in the front door, as if returning to the scene of a terrific natural disaster. 

By mid-morning, with the help of a super professional content marketing agency, John Doe Corporation was starting to look like a fully-functioning 21st-century business. The ship was beginning to be turned around. 

“I can’t thank you enough, Contentinators. Is there anything we can do to help stop Deceptor Marketing?” the transformed employee asked as our heroes headed for the door, exhausted, but satisfied. 

“Just spread the word. Remind people that 82% of businesses with blogging capture a positive ROI for inbound marketing,” Engage said.

Visits To Site On Blogging Days VS. Non Blogging Days

John Doe Corporation After Working With The Contentinators®

“And if you see Deceptor Marketing,” The Curator couldn’t help but add, “tell them The Contentinators are coming.” 

And with that, our heroes departed.


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Epic Content Battles : Episode 1 : The Genesis.

Strolling down a busy avenue in downtown Orlando, our hero takes a detour to avoid stepping on a pile of gum, melted ice cream, and, oddly enough, hair. Little did he know that this detour would change his life. This little detour will ultimately change the course of marketing history. As he rounded the corner, he heard evil. Pure evil. There were two voices. A sinister, menacing, gruff voice and a rascally, weasel-like sounding voice. They spoke of terrible things. They plotted. They were about to launch a plan to ruin the web as we know it. They spoke of building an evil agency, an agency built upon deceit, an agency built on empty promises. It was that day that the Deceptor Marketing Agency was created. An agency that will be so despised by so many; an agency that will ruin so many companies seeking marketing expertise and new clients.

That very day, our Captain Content faced evil. That very day sparked something deep within him, something life-changing. Our hero immediately rushed down to the local spandex / fabric store and created his legendary, epic costume. Everything had to be just right. His hair. His cape. His outer underwear, the gloves, the shoes, the colors. This was huge. That HAD to happen. This was his destiny.

This disturbance pushed our hero beyond his human limits. His creativity surged. He dug deep within, and The Contentinators® was born. An agency like none other. An agency that lives and breathes to create amazing content. Content that resonates with target audiences. Content that inspires, moves, educates, and entertains. Content that lives to defeat the evil clutches of Dr. Deceptor. Content that builds up the digital planet and makes it whole and worth surfing. Our hero jumped into action and assembled his league. He never settled. He hand picked the best of the best. 

Doctor Deceptor , Deceptor Marketing

Doctor Deceptor, Deceptor Marketing

Days followed and the Deceptors' power started to grow. Companies, eager to thrive on the Internet, were sold a bag of garbage from the slick talking Dr. Deceptor. SEO promises were thrown out, guarantees of instant, online success were spewed out like candy. The Deceptors were growing. Evil content began filling computer monitors, laptops, smartphones, and tablets alike. Mumble jumble. Garbage. A slew of constant nonsense started to permeate the web. It was everywhere. This needs to be stopped. 

Captain Content  Of The Contentinators®

Captain Content Of The Contentinators®

The Contentinators® assembled. They flew around the United States with purpose, on a mission. They were bound and determined to find the best of the best of the best in the content creation world. No longer will the world suffer from the evil, horrid clutches of the Deceptors. It was shaping up to be the battle of all battles. The Epic battle of good VS. Evil had begun.


Engage, The Curator And Sleuth From The Contentinators®

Engage, The Curator And Sleuth From The Contentinators®


The Epic Battle continues. To learn more about The Contentinators® and how we can tell your story through rich, vibrant Content Marketing, call 866-471-4748 or click the shiny box below. Stay tuned for next weeks episode...

Captain Content Exposes Engage’s Sweet Moves

How is that for a headline, huh? Haha. Greetings digital denizens! It has been awhile since I graced you all with my impressive and vast knowledge of everything pertaining to content marketing. I do apologize for my absence, but I have been fighting content saboteurs (and nursing a few hangovers; damn you appletinis!). One thing that is seriously bothering the hell out of me right now is those who just really SUCK at posting the good stuff when it comes to social media. Think about it--there are tons of social media platforms to use and so many companies just freeze up like a turd in the Arctic. There are posts with links, posts with pictures that blow, posts that just make absolutely no sense when it comes to branding. NO ONE CARES ABOUT CUTE KITTENS! Well, I happen to adore them, but there is a time and place, people.

I decided to call on my fellow superhero, Engage, and sit her down and pick her brain. In case you didn’t know, Engage is HOT with capital H. But don’t let that foxy exterior distract you from her even more libidinous interior. Engage knows her shit when it comes to social media, and she can engage audiences better than Kim Kardashian’s Instagram account. Side note: let us take a moment of reflection as we remember Kim’s important “Selfie in the Bathroom”’ masterpiece. Holla!

CC: Welcome, Engage. I must say you look smashing, as usual. How is everything going?

E: Stop it, Captain. While the rest of the world might think you have this “Most Interesting Man in the World” thing rocking, we both know “Little Bitch” is a more accurate description. Hello...you drink appletinis and wear spandex.

CC: Nice to see you took your antipsychotic pill today, Engage.

E: Bite me, Captain.

twitter social media

CC: Well, alrighty then, Engage. So, let’s us get down to it...ummm the interview that is. As we all know, your super power is the ability to engage with audiences across the web. If you had to give one piece of advice to people looking to increase engagement with their audience on social media, what would it be?

E:I have said it before: looks matter. When it comes to social media, there is no fairy tale story of the cute guy picking the ugly, but super sweet girl over the bitchy pretty one. In social media land, the pretty girl wins EVERY TIME.

Yosub britney spears mv pretty girls so pretty

CC: That is pretty harsh, Engage, coming from a “pretty girl.” Care to elaborate?

E: Listen. I can’t help that I am hot, but I am nice at the same time. Look at me: “complete package” and all. But think of social media as the face of your business and if that face is all jacked up, then it’s a major turn off for a user who could be a potential customer. It is important that all businesses hoping to be successful online implement an effective social media strategy that incorporates many aspects.

CC: I like it when you use big words, Engage. Makes me all tingly inside. What kind of things do organizations need to be mindful of when trying to make their social media strategy the pretty girl at the party?

E: The use of visuals, whether through graphics, infographics, cinemagraphs, or videos, are all great things you can add to your social media plan. Think about previously published content and ways that you can turn that into an infographic or video.

CC: Ok. I think we get it now. Through visuals, you can get an audience excited. What other ways are there to captivate your audience on social media?

E: Don’t brag! No one cares about how awesome you are. *Ahem, Captain* If people are following you on social media, they are already interested in what product or service you are offering, so you don’t need to keep reminding them about your amazingness.

CC: Interesting...and a little embarrassing. I have been known to boast about my abilities. What else should companies avoid on social media?

E: Do not over post. It kind of ties with the bragging. If you hijack people’s feeds, it is too much of a good thing...unless you are Ian Somerhalder. There is no such thing as too much Ian. Imagine if he was picked for 50 Shades! Anyway, the posts you choose need to be high quality and used sparingly. Make your audience want more, not be turned off by too much. Think Kim Kardashian here. TOO MUCH!!

CC: Haha. Funny you mention good ol’ Kim. OK. It is time to wrap this up. One last piece of advice for companies trying to engage with their audience.

E: Don’t have misspelling and grammatical errors. Nothing turns off an audience more than those who do not know the difference between their, they’re, and there.

Animation Domination High-Def artists on tumblr fox animation domination foxadhd

CC: Thank you, Engage. This has been truly, uh, how do I say...enlightening?

E: Again, Captain...bite me.

buffy the vampire slayer bite me

Well, folks, as you can see, Engage is just a fiery ball of “personality,” a real pain in the ass in my league of superheroes, but her superpower is definitely required in a content marketing campaign. If you can’t engage, then you might as well get off the stage. See what I did there? Wait...is that “bragging?” See? Engage totally messes with my mind!!

Need help with your content marketing efforts? Then hit up the Contentinators®. Our team of writers and brilliant content marketing-minded folks can get you found, respected, and talked about online. Call 866-471-4748, or fill out our contact form. You may even be lucky and have Engage reach out to you. If that does happen, whatever you do, do NOT piss her off. You never know if she has taken her meds that day.

Captain Content Loses It

Captain Standing-01
Captain Standing-01

As a superhero, it’s imperative that I keep my act together. I tend to be on the receiving end of scrutiny simply because I’m in a leadership position--it’s sometimes exhausting, but that’s just the way it goes. Lately, something has been eating away at me. I’ve been tucking it deep down inside and letting it fester. Something so terribly troubling that I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it contained. So, before I go all HULK on the situation, I’ve got to get it off of my chest. It is time. To all of those who over-scrutinize me, I’m sorry, but this has to be said.

How it all began.

It started with an unsolicited email. I get millions of them, as I’m sure you do as well, but this one…this one stabbed at my core. This particular email cut through my superhero defenses within a minute. This was a sign of pure evil:

It read… “Dear Captain Content, I am Joe Davis. I write content so you can get the Google to like your websites. I wish partnership with you so that you don’t have to be writing the content for SEO no longer. I writes content starting at $4.00 US per the articles. Please partner with me today and send me the assignment.”

Joe, I’M FREAKING OUT OVER THIS. I’m over crap content. I’m over your spam, I’m over the pollution of the digital universe with nonsensical garbage content that’s only built to game a system. I’m over poorly worded spammy emails. I’m over the abuse of the English language. I’m over SHIT content.

Pure evil in an email.

Not only was half of the email poorly worded, it was the whole idea. The whole concept of simply churning out digital garbage to ONLY help with Google rankings. The whole idea of trying to game a system by spewing nonsense. The whole idea of even putting a word salad on a client’s website with the objective of only trying to appease a search engine.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

There are millions of folks out there just like Joe. Yes, Joe means well. He does. He, like the rest of us, needs to make a buck. Joe simply doesn’t know he’s part of a larger problem, an insidious problem that’s been plaguing the digital planet for quite some time. Writing nonsense in order to hyper-inflate search engine rankings is the beginning of the end. The nonsense is ignored by HUMANS and Superheroes alike. This digital nonsense is cluttering up the Internet and shielding us from reading the real, amazing, solid content that we, as users, are craving.

The struggle is real.

My mission is simply this. Create amazing content, all day long. Create content that gets shared. Create content designed and built for human consumption. Create blogs, infographics, videos, and gifographics that get people’s attention. Once we have the attention of our prospects, they do the work for us. They share our content. They love our content. They tell their friends about it. They engage with it. They are getting what they want. Would you rather have a piece of crappy, uninteresting, non-engaging, grammatically horrendous content show up as number one when you perform a Google search, or would you rather find something amazing, something brilliant, something that feeds your quest for knowledge? The struggle is real my friends, but have no fear, The Contentinators® are here to create that amazing ‘stuff’ that humans love and that Google pays attention to.

How you can help fight the good fight.

Don’t EVER settle for crappy content. Don’t ever let your website visitors be exposed to digital nonsense on your website or social media channels. Don’t ever let the lure of Google rankings get in your way of producing AMAZING stuff that your audience, prospects, and website visitors will love. Stay focused on why you’re on the Internet to begin with: to attract new prospects, to educate existing customers, to change lives, to be unique, to stand out, to get more appointments, to drive more sales. You aren’t (I HOPE) on the Internet to spew out nonsense that no one will ever read, that no one will ever share, and that no one will ever talk about. Fight the good fight by being dedicated to amazing. Create amazing everyday. Create amazing infographics that educate. Create videos that inspire and move people. Create blog content that is epic. When you create amazing, people will find you. When you create crap, people will hit the back button and go to your competitor. If you need help creating amazing content, you know who to call, but please, whatever you do, don’t call Joe.

Therapy session is over.

Thanks for hearing me out friends. I’m glad I got this off my chest, and I hope that this piece has helped you reframe how you view content. I don’t wish harm or anything negative upon good ole Joe, but I do hope that he sees the light and embraces creating great stuff as opposed to spewing out crap. I’m off to slam down a few Appletinis with some superhero friends. Rant over.

If you or someone you know needs epic content marketing for their digital presence, please call me. It’s never too late to start creating amazing. 866-471-4748.

Until next time,

@CaptContent.